My story!

My story starts the day when one of my male friend said few words about females. Those words changed me and my perception on life. The determination to achieve something in life made me what I am today.

The adamant nature is my biggest plus point.
I never gave up, I bend and do not break.

That day we were walking on the street, going to class together. He is very good at Java, he has a perfect programming skills or say Java skills. He is male and he has ego. I was very innocent back them. My world was to have fun and pass the time with friends. I only know one thing have fun and enjoy every moment as it comes . . . I did not had any goals and any kind of aims. I wanted to get married and be a normal house wife. A stupid girl!

A moron back then but I always had a good heart. I am good by my nature. Being good is my choice but from the starting I was good and kind to others. It's my Genetics. I thank God for that. I never understood:

Jealous,
Envy,
Hatred, and
Anger.

Back then my only intention was to smile every second. And bam that day is a successful day. I am a quick learner and English skills made me the topper in my college even with one day batting in colleges and schools, sometimes its only a hour - batting.

As usual I did not concentrate on what my sir was saying. He all of a sudden took a topic, "Jayashree you females are so moron. You keep on writing on notes. God knows what you females write. And you look at only our male lecturer. You fall in love with them and that's it. You write him letters, and come to classes only for him. And you females don't even understand what's Java means. So pathetic creatures. You females are only fit for one thing. To be in kitchen. And serve all the males. I don't even understand why parents spend all money in the education of a female."

I looked at him. I said only these words, "Females can work."

He smiled and said, "No you females can't. Fit for nothing."

Our class came and we sat in our respective seats. That incident had created a very huge impact on my mind. I did not get angry at him. I gave a thought. I wanted him to be wrong. It was just a seed that was sowed in my mind by a male whose ego talked that day. I ignored that incident. But . . . seed was sowed. And my psychology was watering that seed.

I was calm, and not proud of my achievement. I got a job. I never took pride in my job. That's not my identity. That's my livelihood. I thank God for giving me this wonderful life. I am not that stupid. I still did not had any goals in my life. I am still a girl who is normal. I wanted to get married and have kids. Getting salary and struggling to keep that job. I am intelligent and I never knew it.

"So you got the job? Good and you are growing in your career. Good, I thought you cannot stay in job for more than a month. You were such a stupid girl with no wisdom, knowledge and goals. Simple and innocent female and you still in job." The same friend who said females are not fit for anything.

"Yes I am in job. So now I want to be team leader. I want to work more hard."

"You just recently joined in a job and you dream of team leader? What are you made up of?"

"I don't care, I love challenges. Next I want to be team leader."

"You Jayashree, you aim big. Your desires don't stop you are very ambitious. Just a month back you wanted job now you aim for team leader? You are very Greedy in your aims."

"What ever." I cried. Tears came out. I felt that I am bad. But I did not stop. I never stopped in my dreams.

The wind to my fire!

The same guy who planted a seed, watered it too and nurturing it without his knowledge.

I stood up and said to myself, "I am a good person. I am not greedy and I am not ambitious. I want to achieve something in my life."

I am too innocent back then. Did not understand this desperation to achieve something. I had that determination and persistence in me. No matter what others opine of me I am not going to give up on myself. The mind of me is incredible. It never listened to any other person in my life. It had the courage to do what it wants to do. It screwed all other peoples advices and discouragement and bad feelings they were emitting.

I cried and cried, not able to understand my zeal to do something in life. I had to accept what I am . . . for that I have to understand what I am . . . who will tell me? Who will help me?

None did that,
No one came for my rescue.

Very small pain, but intensity was huge. I was alone all my life. I never had luxury of parent's guidance and was very bad people skills. No friends who would meet my high energy. All are normal minded people with normal IQ. I started talking to God. It was from my childhood. God became my friend, the best friend. He always helps me in time of need.

Professors and great people used to talk to me. They tried to help me. They guided me and said, "If you don't understand us now. Wait, don't give up." They felt my potential. I was still unaware of my IQ. "I am just a female in India." But nonetheless, my mind started doing it's magic without my consciousness aware.

"I wanna settle in USA. I hate Indians."

"What now you wanna settle in India and marry a white guy? You are freak. Your goals and dreams never end. You are a female who will never stop your hunger in money and properties and you are very bad female. You like western culture? Disgusting."

Again cried. But this time he showed me something I never knew.

My ability to aim for highest targets. Now I understood one of property of me. I aim impossibles.

Coming to Delhi was impossible,
Doing job was impossible,
Getting salary was impossible,
Not getting myself was impossible,
Being normal team member was impossible,
Having normal communication skills was impossible,
Staying with hypocrites and demeaning people was impossible,

Everything was impossible back then. But I was living that impossible. The disgusting words and the bad feeling he gave me for who I am . . .

Made me realize my potential.

An Indian male made me what I am today. A moron made me realize how powerful my mind can be and what I can achieve in my life. "Can I?" I asked myself. "What's wrong in trying Jayashree?"

"You are nuts Jayashree." I was talking to myself.

"So . . . you in or out?"

"I am in."

"Show me your power, I wanna see what I am capable of doing or achieving."

"How badly you want to be not ordinary?"

"I am willing to take any kind of risk in my life. I am willing to sacrifice my future just to see what I am capable of . . . "

Wicked smile. Jayashree show me what are you.


I did not even understand that male friend of mine is very bad. I was that good by heart. I used to say, "Why are you saying such a mean things to me?" I love myself. I am proud of myself. Even now I did not give up on my goodness. Most of think my goodness and kindness is my weakness. I don't think so. It's God's gift to me. I will never let anyones badness take my goodness and faith in humanity.

I am doing all this to prove to myself.

Mind is very powerful thing.
There is no more powerful weapon than our mind.
Educate and feed it with all things positive.